Is it ok for me to utter the words "I don't know?"
Sometimes people ask me questions about faith and religion and God and the Bible expecting me to know the answer. And sometimes I do. But other times I'm caught with my jaw hanging open grappling for some set of words that will keep me from sounding completely unintelligent. I admit that I'm not an encyclopedia of knowledge...I don't remember things or have the ability to expound upon topics on a whim. I depend a lot on books and Google and notes that I have tucked away in drawers to remind me of what I have learned over and over again. I don't think this makes me less effective a professional, but in a pinch I might have to utter those words that are perceived by some in today's world as weak and faulty...I don't know.
Of course this happens to all of us...no one can be expected to remember everything. But there's another "I don't know" that I find myself using with increased frequency...and I must say, although some may perceive it as a sign of lower intelligence or less than diligent study, I don't mind uttering that disparaged phrase. In fact, I believe there is a certain wisdom - even holiness - in it.
I first began to learn the deep sensibility in the phrase "I don't know" when I recognized that teaching pre-teens and teenagers was less about imparting knowledge and factual information and more about navigating a mind that is discovering ambiguity. Teens, like their 3-year-old previous selves, are more interested in "why" than "what." I can teach them that Christians believe in the resurrection of Jesus, but they are more interested in why the resurrection of Jesus matters. I can teach them that, in the Bible, the story of Moses is about God freeing the Israelite slaves from the Egyptian empire, but they are more interested in why, if God frees slaves, slavery continues to exist in the world today.
And it's not just teenagers who are pondering these ideas. Adults ask me questions like, "What does the virgin birth mean?" and "Why do we believe that the Bible the one and only Word of God?"
But even more telling..."How can God help me get a job?" and "When will I stop feeling fear when I see a man with a baseball bat?" and "Why don't I love my husband anymore"
I have come to find that the best way to answer these kinds of questions is with "I don't know." Of course, it's not the end of the conversation...but it's almost always a really good place to start.
There is no single answer to these questions. I suppose it's possible that in previous generations important people come up with answers that were deemed "correct" and "right" at the time. And there may still be some validity in those answers (or in new ones that today's important people come up with), but people are prone to think less about correct answers than of answers which are able to deepen the conversation about what is real in our world.
It's hard for some people (all of us, to some degree or another) to accept ambiguity. We have been steeped in a world that science has declared can and should be discovered, examined, and explained. Modern technological advances have fooled us into thinking that there is a fix for everything. But even science is beginning to understand that the value of "I don't know" isn't found in more answers, or more correct answers, but in a willingness to wonder. And I read recently that while computers can be taught to think, it's virtually impossible to get a computer to dream.
Faith is 1001% about wonder, mystery, enigma, and holy. There is a sacred space surrounding "I don't know." Religion is about answers - although they may change over time and be different from person to person. What we often call Church - the way we organize and come together as people of faith - can have some answers that we celebrate and which unite us. But faith means letting go of the answers we think we have and allowing God to fill that space with something that is new and unknown.
God meets us in that place where all we have to utter is "I don't know."
There's the answer to your question...now, let's talk.
Sometimes people ask me questions about faith and religion and God and the Bible expecting me to know the answer. And sometimes I do. But other times I'm caught with my jaw hanging open grappling for some set of words that will keep me from sounding completely unintelligent. I admit that I'm not an encyclopedia of knowledge...I don't remember things or have the ability to expound upon topics on a whim. I depend a lot on books and Google and notes that I have tucked away in drawers to remind me of what I have learned over and over again. I don't think this makes me less effective a professional, but in a pinch I might have to utter those words that are perceived by some in today's world as weak and faulty...I don't know.
Of course this happens to all of us...no one can be expected to remember everything. But there's another "I don't know" that I find myself using with increased frequency...and I must say, although some may perceive it as a sign of lower intelligence or less than diligent study, I don't mind uttering that disparaged phrase. In fact, I believe there is a certain wisdom - even holiness - in it.
I first began to learn the deep sensibility in the phrase "I don't know" when I recognized that teaching pre-teens and teenagers was less about imparting knowledge and factual information and more about navigating a mind that is discovering ambiguity. Teens, like their 3-year-old previous selves, are more interested in "why" than "what." I can teach them that Christians believe in the resurrection of Jesus, but they are more interested in why the resurrection of Jesus matters. I can teach them that, in the Bible, the story of Moses is about God freeing the Israelite slaves from the Egyptian empire, but they are more interested in why, if God frees slaves, slavery continues to exist in the world today.
And it's not just teenagers who are pondering these ideas. Adults ask me questions like, "What does the virgin birth mean?" and "Why do we believe that the Bible the one and only Word of God?"
But even more telling..."How can God help me get a job?" and "When will I stop feeling fear when I see a man with a baseball bat?" and "Why don't I love my husband anymore"
I have come to find that the best way to answer these kinds of questions is with "I don't know." Of course, it's not the end of the conversation...but it's almost always a really good place to start.
There is no single answer to these questions. I suppose it's possible that in previous generations important people come up with answers that were deemed "correct" and "right" at the time. And there may still be some validity in those answers (or in new ones that today's important people come up with), but people are prone to think less about correct answers than of answers which are able to deepen the conversation about what is real in our world.
It's hard for some people (all of us, to some degree or another) to accept ambiguity. We have been steeped in a world that science has declared can and should be discovered, examined, and explained. Modern technological advances have fooled us into thinking that there is a fix for everything. But even science is beginning to understand that the value of "I don't know" isn't found in more answers, or more correct answers, but in a willingness to wonder. And I read recently that while computers can be taught to think, it's virtually impossible to get a computer to dream.
Faith is 1001% about wonder, mystery, enigma, and holy. There is a sacred space surrounding "I don't know." Religion is about answers - although they may change over time and be different from person to person. What we often call Church - the way we organize and come together as people of faith - can have some answers that we celebrate and which unite us. But faith means letting go of the answers we think we have and allowing God to fill that space with something that is new and unknown.
God meets us in that place where all we have to utter is "I don't know."
There's the answer to your question...now, let's talk.
I agree this comes with age and wisdom. When I was younger I was afraid to say "I don't know. Now I think it is more honest and genuine than searching my memory for some sort of answer. Thanks for you blog and expression of thoughts! Keep writing!
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