A Good Day

Seventeen years ago today I sat by my wife's bedside as she alternately slept and curled into a knot of discomfort and fear.  I was able to read a book during the times that she was asleep and still, but when she began to flex her legs toward her distended belly and arch her back, I would reach out my hand and take hold of hers.  She squeezed my fingers almost until they cracked!  She says now that she doesn't remember much of these twilight hours, but she remembers knowing that I was there, and that a comforting warmth calmed her fears.  After about fifteen or so hours of this roller coaster ride, and after doctors had informed us that a surgical procedure was inevitable, a baby boy was placed in my arms.  The medical professionals assured me that my wife was no longer in danger and that (thanks to powerful medications!) she would feel no more pain - at least for a while.  Through blood, sweat, tears, pain, worry, clenched teeth, moans and groans, squeezed hands, and fitful hours, new life had emerged.

Today that boy turns 17.  And, really...not that much has changed. Of course, lots of good times have befallen us over these years - adventures in the backyard and beyond, the emergence of hobbies and talents, exploration of all kinds of curious endeavors.  My son has amazed me with the depth of his compassion for animals and the ecology of our world.  He plays electric guitar in ways that I could only dream.  And his wit makes me laugh almost every day.  Life is a lot of fun in our little family.  Still, that life emerges through struggle and, often, fear.

I'm not trying to be dour...and I'm not one of those people who believes that all of this world is dark and dreary only so heaven can seem that much more glorious.  When God made the world it was "good" that best describe all that came into being.  And even sin has not spoiled that exclamation.  But let's face it...life is tough.  We are subject to pain in our bodies, our minds, and our souls.

Amid the blessings and joy, it has been hard to watch my son grow up in this world.  He has fallen down and scrapped his knee - and broke his arm once!  He has, at times, struggled to find ways to appropriately convey his feelings.  Here and there people have said hurtful things and caused him to doubt his value and worth.  In these situations and many more, he is like all of us...bad things happen and we find ways to work through them.  We may wish that the bad things didn't happen, but we know that is nonsense.

And if we are honest with ourselves, it is through the pain of life that we learn and grow.  Like it is when you want to build muscle, you need to lift heavy weights which causes the muscle fibers to literally tear apart so new tissue can grow in the spaces in between.  In order for us to grow and learn, our lives are torn and split, so that new wisdom and understanding can fill in those spaces.  Life emerges out of pain and fear.  And it is with the eyes of faith that we behold the "good" that God continues to create in us.

It was a very "good" day seventeen years ago even though my wife squeezed my hand almost to the point that my bones cracked.  I am grateful for every day that has ensued and wait with eager anticipation the adventures to come!